Parties Extra!---20-40-60 Etiquette---Hold that chair!
QUESTION: Is a gentleman still expected to hold a chair for a lady?
Of course! Now, this does not mean he has to hold the chair every time but occasionally is always nice. It never hurts to be a gentleman!
Holding chairs out for a woman is a nice gesture that I wouldn’t require but that I would appreciate from time to time, like at a nice restaurant or a special event. It is one way to convey consideration for the person that I hope would spill over into other aspects of the relationship and be reciprocated in turn. Also, if someone needs help with a chair or a door, I would hope that anyone of either gender would offer assistance.
Holding a chair for a woman, as is traditional etiquette, is not the only way to do convey respect — small gestures of thoughtfulness by each party for the other show genuine care for the person and deepen a connection. Too often these are missing. When we neglect the small things in a relationship, the big things become insurmountable, and vice versa.
Young women today are missing a real treat if their men aren’t helping with the heavy chairs, opening the car door, and standing, instead of chair lounging, when they come into a room. That respect toward people should always be in place. Expect it!
The other day my grandchildren stood to greet me when I walked into the room. It was a dear gesture of respect. They are also the first ones to “help” with chairs. Mothers and dads, schools, churches, teach it!
Chuck Ainsworth, local business leader: While this courtesy is not always expected, it should always be extended. Good manners never go out of style, so I think you should always help a lady be seated. A refresher course on common etiquette might be a good idea for everyone — this information is just a click away. Good luck!
Callie Gordon is 20-something, Lillie-Beth Brinkman is in her 40s, and social columnist Helen Ford Wallace is 60-plus. To ask an etiquette question, email email@example.com
Helen Ford Wallace is a columnist covering society-related events/news for The Oklahoman. She puts local parties online with daily updates. She creates, maintains and runs a Parties blog which includes web casts. She is an online web editor for... Read more ›
Lillie-Beth Brinkman is a Content Marketing Manager for the Greater Oklahoma City Chamber of Commerce. She was previously an assistant editor of The Oklahoman Read more ›
Callie Athey is 20-something and is a graduate from the University of Oklahoma. She has worked in various positions, ranging from Event Coordinator to Environmental Health and Safety Assistant. Currently, Callie is an Executive Assistant to a... Read more ›