20-40-60 Etiquette: I'd like to thank ...
QUESTION: I was recently a guest at a rather large bridal brunch. There were five hostesses. Do I send a separate "thank you" note to each hostess or just one note to the group?
CALLIE'S ANSWER: Yes, you should send a separate note to each of the hosts. That is very thoughtful of you!
LILLIE-BETH'S ANSWER: Yes, I would send a thank-you note to each of the hostesses. Sounds like it was a fun gathering! You also always can bring to the party small tokens of appreciation — hostess gifts — for those who planned it and consider that your thank you. But somehow, let your appreciation be known to each host, and a note is perfect for that!
HELEN'S ANSWER: It would be very nice for you to send thank-you notes to the five hostesses as they all planned and executed the party. Recently, I emailed a quick thank you for a lovely party that I attended and then followed up with a thank-you note. I considered calling the hosts, and I think that also would have been acceptable.
Currently, many hosts are joining together to host parties. There could be as many as 10 hosts. I think a “group thank you” would be sufficient if the number is large. Just be sure you thank each host as you leave the party. There is nothing like hearing a sincere thank you and a mention of what you enjoyed about the party.
GUEST'S ANSWER: Christina Nihira, journalist and community volunteer: The quick answer, of course, is to send it to the party's organizer. Keep in mind, however, that not everyone may see your note.
The formal answer is to send a note of thanks to each hostess. A handwritten note expresses appreciation and enables you to let these ladies know how much you enjoyed the brunch. Your hand might get a cramp but you will know that everyone has been properly acknowledged.
Besides, most people enjoy getting a lovely card amid all the bills and junk mail.
Callie Athey is 20-something, Lillie-Beth Brinkman is in her 40s, and social columnist Helen Ford Wallace is 60-plus. To ask an etiquette question, email email@example.com.